December 31, 2009

see you tomorrow next year, Kids.

what am i looking forward to this coming year? i have some ideas that can be construed as "resolutions" and i need to write them down. i hope the majority of what i come up with actually stay throughout the year. hopefully i can finally get into a decent education establishment and find decent people. i suppose the purpose of this post is to get my post count up. bye for now.

December 30, 2009

when Looking back, eyes are unopened

went through some bins/containers/boxes that have been virtually dormant and untouched for over 10 years. i found some crazy shit, kids. not only were there pokemon cards (english and japanese), but POGS. that was weird. and they were the kind that had freaky illustrations, though not alf, and were shiny..anyway..more on disturbing look-backs: i found class pictures from my 5th and 8th grade. that was scary. i was surprised i didn't look extremely horrible in the 8th grade picture. i guess being far away from the camera can be attributed to that.

i can't believe it's already the end of the year..and the month. it's been a decade of 2000-somethings. i never realized that until the tv told me. i feel like i don't have stuff to look forward to next year. i'd just really like to be out of this country, making money, and snagging cute boys. i've been working on it. it should come into fruition soon. i've been getting better, maybe.

December 26, 2009

nonono, nary cris'mas

i intended to make an xmas post yesterday, but compromising situations arose and i had no time and eventually forgot. so, to my dismay, i have to admit that i watched avatar. it was inevitable. mind you, i had no intention to ever see that movie, not even when it would make it to basic tv; that shit didn't/doesn't interest me, the story was blegh and i just didn't like the whole thing nor could i understand why some people were going crazy over it.
after watching it i have to say that it was tolerable. it was interesting. i was partially to those flying things that looked like pterodactyls. the story is basically the same as ferngully.

the same. less scary, though, without that pollutant/evil chemical character voiced by tim curry. less enjoyable, too.

December 20, 2009

clean Up your Act!

i have been a lazy fool, especially when it comes to this blog. i've just been moseying around, checking out other blogs and what not..maybe trying to get inspiration. i sense some changes in the making and inclusions of image from my personal life. i guess.
school has ceased for the fall. there is no winter and spring is still up in the air. i'm most apprehensive about where i might get accepted for a new school. still wondering if i should risk out of state expensive places. i belong in a place with distinguishable seasons.

December 15, 2009

Grades grades grades! The New School Musical

it is finals time for me. the nice thing about today was vaguely sleeping in and not having to worry about trying to get to class around 7-ish. i am worried about the 2 major projects due today because i have no clue how one is going/went and the other one definitely needs finishing an hour before class. i am little miss procrastinator and last minute gal--this is really no big deal, but considering the fact that i'm really gunning for A's this semester...i rethink a little.

besides my busy academic life, i must mention that i now adore voluspa candles. i think fluer de fĂȘte is my favorite, i'd like to light that in my room, even though i'm lighting up goji & torocco orange. the scent is wonderful and really, in a subtle manner, fills up the space.
i also have a huge crush on Mena Suvari.
I guess it was because i was watching american beauty and then day of the dead..i don't know. she's adorable. and kinda badass. my other objet d'attraction: APC boy models. OH MY GUUOOOSH. That's half of what i want my dream boy to look like.

December 7, 2009

Innovative; we grew up w/o seizures

it might be considered early for blogging...but check out the new layout and colours! i'm excited. there are still some tweaks to eek out...overall i'm liking the new demureness and wideness (excellent for fitting in those large images). i'm not quite sure what else to bring into this post... i'm suffering from lethargy again. the same same same.

i plan to embark on some diy/dim projects. after attending the Unique LA thing during the weekend. it was crowded, but undoubtedly awesome with local and handmaking vendors and the free tote. some of the things weren't so ridiculously priced ($5 t-shirts and necklaces!). i've been hankering to make that puff skirt and mini purse thing..i should really be concentrating on finishing my tarea por mi clase.

December 4, 2009

I'mma learn ya how: Back to the Future 2.5's obviously december, but i nary believe it feels like it (ummm, nearly 80°F is not wintry). i'm definitely hating the christmas related and sounding songs/jingles on the radio, not so much on the tv. now that i think about it, yes, those are pretty fucking annoying, too. i don't have that merry spirit. it's just been a ridiculous week and last yesterday did not yield the cuteness that i usually expect nor the musical indulgences i live for. having a test did nothing to alleviate the horridness.

on a lighter, uplifting, and freaky note: I received a letter from me. It was dated a little over four years ago and it came through the post. I didn't think i'd be getting it (the possibility of skip being dead or simply ignoring my juvenile and vulgar vernacular), but it was there. Some of the topics it touched on are still rather pertinent in my life. mostly the globe trotting, cartoon watching, and "indie" taste in music--generally all there. i'm glad i don't have kids yet...and i really wish i'd followed my past self's advice to talk until my larynx was raw (i'd have had andrews, grant, "james franco", and art-alex by now had i done that). mmm. it makes me nostalgic for freshmen year of high school. or the better times from high school and especially english class (watching bridge on the river kwai, a christmas story, two versions of romeo and juliet, and the odyssey..).

November 23, 2009

LE BREAK c'est fini pour maintenant

ugh. it is finished for CA. now i have to deal with horrible, purely academic world. i have nothing to offer you for entertainment purposes. sorry.

November 21, 2009

slapdash encounters>fantasy of you

this is some motherfucing horrible deja vu right heerrr. well, i'm taking a break from the atrocious california college applications. i'm just working on the "personal statements", the tortuous element that begs to prove you're worthy of participating in the educational system. i don't know what i've been up to; everything is, like...the same thing over and over and over and over. like a monkey with a miniature cymbal...i am sooo sick of my class schedule and the routine. i know, haven't been running this shit in foreva. i'm trying to be quick with this...(mmm, that's what he said) since i gotta get back to work: i like french cheeses (oh, since that first day in paris with les gaffres..) esp. boursin and brie, i've reached the realization that i am a fashion and/or beauty whore (oh god, the little boy inside me throws up a lot every time i think about this), i keep my right hand hi (a la ici for kid sister), ehmm...i'm also binging on sweet things, and the issue of sex always comes up. fucking always.

November 9, 2009

HEY, MAN! Hot stuff in November!

i booked a job interview (yay to trial careers!) and i'm on the fence about what to do it i do well. i'd so like to get away from here for a while, but i worry about the things i'm leaving behind, namely the animals living with me, specifically the ones with wings.

nonstop thinking of the divine Mr. Mysterious. alls i know about him is that he'll be transferring to USC for the spring semester. i detest that school, for some reason. they don't even have what i want major in and their colors are..ehm, not to my liking.

November 4, 2009

All work and no play. Makes me A

there is too much to do this month. applications galore! i think universities are my priority, but i would very much like to finish the one for teaching in korea (ah, yes, i get paid and i can travel around asia!). it's for six months.
for some obscure reason i am totally into metalocalypse. i don't know why. i like the gore and the voice acting, maybe. i like toki. i'm scared of murderface. i'm liking the adult swim with the full episodes of seasons 1 at the moment. i can't fully understand why i recently find this show so appealing. i don't really like metal, i guess. ehh.
music that i'm totally into: jazz. The dave brubeck, the charles mingus, the john coltrane, the miles davis, the max roach. Also some, uh, "indie" stuff as it were: freelance whales, surfer blood & local natives. hmmmm.
there isn't really any other things worth writing...i'm liking this one guy in my art history class, but it's a lecture-like setting with a whole shitload of people the hell am i gonna be getting to know him with that going on? i don't even know his name (at least i found out grant at the ucsc)! i'm smitten with the fact that he looks like alex turner and dresses rather nicely (casual and composed in a semi-sophisticate way). i'd very much like him.
this must surely be the eclectic and incoherent.
i'm thinking about changing the colour scheme or something soon; also considering streamlining this blog into featuring topics that are age and gender appropriate since i've been browsing other things...
or not.
all i really want to do is go to ny. and stay there until i die somewhere in europe.

October 31, 2009


another halloween. so, this is the third year featuring this holiday? i'm not too enthusiastic about it despite my general liking of candy, being scared out of my wits, and dressing up as something (i usually yearn to really be...or think is funny). i don't think i've really costumed for a while; i vaguely remember dressing up as han solo two years ago, but it wasn't highly noticeable/effective. last year i wanted to be flapjack...this year i contemplated batgirl, judy jetson, or something like, upsetting. i really have no plans.

October 30, 2009

Hallow eve

score. i forgot the gist of the thingy. i'm preparing for candy o'd-ing.

October 24, 2009

slummed On that, oh Henry V.

it's high time i make this project productive. it's been neglected!! what would blog protective services do if they knew??
all right. i've been 21 for, uh, two weeks now, i think, and i've had my four wisdom teeth extracted (yes, the pain is still there and.. there are giant gaps in my gums...) and that's the gist of what's been going on in my life! i suppose i should mention that i've taken to my erudite habits by studying italiano, i swear i know more of it than spanish. ehh. oh! exciting, exciting: new season of the venture bros. i didn't really understand that little counter thing that kept popping up with the $ thing, but, i got it and how it was all memento-fied (like the movie with guy pearce). I AM SMITTEN with HANK VENTURE and his LONG UNKEMPT HAIR. His improved wardrobe, including Brock's shearling lined jean jacket, and choice of reading material--marvel issue #1..comics in general are just the coke lines on my glass coffee table. Since i couldn't find a decent picture of his new look, i present to you this equally cute picture which includes dean.

i also watched district b-13 (thank you, old time magazine). it's a french movie set in the kinda mostly dystopian near future with government corruption and nuclear weapons of sorts. lots of parkour. reminded me a little of mirror's edge. sooo..i discovered monsieur david belle. he is the founder of parkour (ok. that i just found out). look at him when he was a young 'un.

oh my gush. kwwwwuuuutte flash forward...


i don't care how small those pictures are...i mean, you can search for the same stuff should you become entranced with this character.

what i'm listening to a lot of: dave brubek, music from shaft performed by Soul Mann & the Brothers (the theme is awesome), and the smoke. suck on that.

October 11, 2009

it's not really my party

jghfjf khgfhg jhfgjgf mgf gdj hgd mhgdf kgfhrd mhgdk thf bfdjgfd kf nbcjfgsdj gf kyf kbvgf lfnbf.
actually, it's my birthday today. that's about it. you can expect dining out with people and..yeah. Maybe someone will give me money and say something they think is nice. whatever. there was this bitch who said the most atrocious thing, thinking i wouldn't fucking understand. jeeeezz.
i bet you're all excited that i can legally buy alcohol and cigarettes at the same time. Whatevers.
Here is the general feeling for today along performed bya band i simply can't get enough of:

oh my tod

it's, like...right for the occasion. since you're not giving me any presents, or really wishing me anything, i'll give back to you for the fucking heck of it.
i'm that nice. maybe.

October 4, 2009

feelin' FINE

it's one week until my birthday. what shit.
i've discovered that i can no longer apply for winter semester/quarter at university--i guess i misunderstood the deadline. probably also since i didn't delve into the website to get more information. i feel like an idiot. however, this gives me the option to reevaluate where i want to go (nyc is my first choice regarding location, the only question is will i get in? next is berkley then l.a.).
i have no idea what the fuck i'm gonna be doing after this semester. i'd like to eventually be hired or intern or something to get out of this garish place. it continues to suck the life out of me. my number one choice for interning is the aiu thing in london or paris (only in the summer)...but it's more about money then and i'm not too sure i'll have any/much left should i continue my school shit here.
looking back, i gotta helluva lotta regrets. i never fucking shoulda gone to ucsc...i have no pride so it wouldn't have fucking mattered if i went to a goddamn uc. shit. i'm overly spiteful. this is even more of the worst i've ever had. my god, if there is such a thing.
the only thing i'm proud of regarding the last few days is my diligence in completing some stuff to send in.
i apologise for the ranting here. my speculation is that no one really reads this or if one should stumble in this page, has the inclination to read any of the posts. i don't know what to do, but i want to travel like my life depended on it. while looking cute and pretty. forever transient. there isn't anything else anyone can do to fix it.

September 26, 2009

proceeding classiness; yes, it goes over

there is no reason for this one. like most others that start out this way and end up on an all too specific subject that has been bugging me for a long time. i feel there has to be something since i haven't said anything in a bit. well, i've been readin' some graphic novels, the spirit and watchmen respectively, and finding odd, almost scary connections with their general plots in relation to my science class. i don't know why nor do i wish to express the similarities at the moment.

genuinely despondent. ahhh..well. i can't say otherwise. i need to get over this grand scheme of protraction.

September 9, 2009

Hooker shoes serve thee Well

fun, fun, fun. yum,yum,yum. this is another one of those three times same number dates. like, the last real mentionable one was in 07. i thought i was going to incorporate something more poignant, but..i've forgotten my point. why don't you focus on the title? oh. i went to the sprinkles cupcake place. it's tasty, but def not worth $4 for one of those things.

September 7, 2009

Running out of sayings and activities, enter the Internets

i am such a horrible procrastinator. super slacker incarnate in the dictionary=moi. that really has nothing to do with this post/blog. back to what i meant to discuss this time around: school.
damn, that shit never ends, do it? it'll be work soon after (i mean, career-wise, not something transient and meaningless like bedding your favourite famous person) that'll keep the rants and anecdotes coming. let's start this already.

i started last week on a tuesday very, very early in the morning. Spanish was ok. the teacher was a little late and wearing also quite little. art history was okey dokey (the most unpleasant thing about that was recognising two people i have never regarded highly occupying space in the room. that pissed me off) and contritely funny. environmental science makes me feel like a bitchy, egotistical waster bent on the destruction of this planet. how can i go on living knowing i have blood on my hands (mostly indirectly)? and here i am acting all addicted to things that people didn't fucking know about not even hundreds of years ago. It isn't as elaborate as last year and there aren't any particular cute interests i have yet. of course i'll be letting you know if that should occur, i guess..

also, i gotta be getting on that intern shit. even if i don't get in, i know i at least tried for something.
the topic of upcoming posts: college applications! god. you never think that comes around again this often.

August 31, 2009

this Could be It.

it is the end of august. school started for some people today, but i'm still free until tomorrow morning. at 7 AM. i'm ... excited? a whole day of "learning" to look forward to, eh?
the fires in southern CA are quite close to the place i inhabit. check out this smoke from right about now:

looks like mini atomic bomb went off. mountains are supposed to be there. everything is obscured by the smoke and you can see the the bright fires burning in the distance ant night.

and i guess i'll be thinking about how this was a real deadbeat summer.

August 17, 2009

drooling Nonstop

i had no idea this existed. i haven't been this excited about anything related to this since '06.

oh goooodd. did you see the part when the guys are walking back to their car in the desert kinda place and it has that fast-forwarded effect that turns slow-mo? ahhhh~!!

that wasn't how i found out, though. this was the initial discovery:

it was full on bloody nose and uncontrollable's rather shameful.
that's all of what i wanted to share. this will be a little obsession i will harbor. i don't even remember how i stumbled upon it in the first place...searching for stuff from final fantasy viii? i think so.
ohh. i am relapsing so bad.

August 15, 2009

is it just Me?

or do these kinda sound the same?

crying lightning VS. ookami otoko no Uta

well? well? there are similar elements in the songs, i think.
i'm also positive starfucker and neon indian are in cohoots together, like, collaborating or..have teamed up.
wait. you want to know what happened since i mentioned "ehhh" in the saigo no posto (last post)?

mmm, it was decent. it was the best towards the end, for me, and not just because i was going to be home sooner. i connected and met some was nice.
otherwise, still pondering about the future, regrettably, and other very stupid thoughts.

that usually include boys. that are cute. and around my age. ?

August 5, 2009

hopped up on PCP

not particularly looking forward to the next 7-8 days. it's difficult to pinpoint the exact issue that's making it seem unbearable. enhhh. i'll be trudging through the mud to emerge on the other side dirty and ultimately still inexperienced. digression: i am proud of my new found superhero ability to force conversation--it was discovered when i wasn't in america and has been rapidly diminishing since my return, but this upcoming thing should help bring it back, sadly.
and i fucking hate my haircut. it's a shitty job of a trim, i tell you what.

also, add neon indian to the things i can't get enough of. it's fucking amazing up there along with crocodiles and drugs.

August 2, 2009

hot damn! The time for idolization passes..on

three years since i started this thing! amazing! this was originally contrived to harbor my sadness as a result of leaving all my nice overseas study friends. hmm. i suppose it's been generally true to its purpose..with explosive and bland side-effects. also, i have been studying some japanese again and it's surprising when i realize that i can understand more than i'd like to remember. it's odd. other things! i have discovered this nice little music delight known as yojiro toyama. it's very delightful and refreshing and i adore his voice. i..don't know. i guess i was tired of the nonchalant charm that has been oozing from the likes of those suave-y european boys (oh alex turner..what a disappointment you are) or the casual brashness of those american kids. try it..

yojiro toyama: attacked

oh. so now you're asking, "what else can't this person get enough of?"
well, i'm obliged to tell you that it's probably jarvis cocker (hold still), sparta locals (stay dreamer), and ummmm...sitting outside to read in the sun.
enjoyable. and time consuming in a passive manner. that's the way i likes it.

July 31, 2009

[Bl]and what? a summer travesty

it's the last day of july! oh shitts. and next week i have to go off to some wedding that i'm not to keen on now (no, no, it isn't mine. there prolly ain't nobody who's gonna spend the rest of their life with me). this post really serves no poignant purpose and i'm not even going to bring up stuff from the past. i guess. however, i'm sadly realizing that summer is slowly decaying away...i've wasted it for the most part and i'm spending my days in anguish. i think they get worse every year...except maybe 2006. that was some genuine fun, if i recall. nothing like that nowadays, it's just the monotony of this country of where i am of who i don't know.

i really want to make this long. more unnecessary and eclectic typing: i have been watching the first season of the venture bros. and listening to the commentary. it's very erratic and tangential, usually, regarding whatever is happening in the episode at the time. it's not something i'm used to, having also been watching dvds of old simpsons episodes and listening to that commentary. they explain stuff and then again, i haven't heard what doc hammer and jackson publick have said about episodes in the other seasons. yet. bored out of mind otherwise and this isn't a particularly great outlet.
not nearly long enough! oh god.
lack of it. of all of it.
i'd like to have a good massage.

July 20, 2009

Opening your big Mouth

there are some things i am just not suited for. right now i feel like a just minted pubescent of the female sort who just had a baby, but wishes she hadn't. you know what i mean. i'm not too ashamed to say i don't want the thing, in this scenario it will be more easily to get rid of without so much sentiment or trauma. i'd like to have things they way they was without the unnecessary stress.

yes, i am a minimalist when it comes down to love and affection. i can't be there all the time to make cuddles and soothe with my sweet voice. i can't do it..or i do it in a way that seems mean to the untrained eye. this is indeed an announcement of forthright regret and a cause of unhappiness. shit. i probably shouldn't have any children.

besides, i think you make me (physically) sick.
yeah. like you can totally understand this.
it's a little sad, though.

July 16, 2009

livin' then, lyin' now, ain't no reason to Stop us Now

i have bug bites again and they're in unfavorable places. it's obscene where these creatures are sucking me. why is my blood so tasty? i've already done a reference. aren't you proud for figuring that out?
uhm. i've planned most of everything out for fall. which is upcoming and not something at all to look forward to. i'm surprised i was able to have a two-day school week; of course it's about ten hours per day, but i have a four day weekend and midweek break. more time to frolic about being incompetent. unless i get a job (plausible) or volunteer (perhaps i need to) or become an intern or work on college applications (most likely, then). i can't fucking believe i've gotta go through this shit for a second time and i'm not even going to grad school yet. it's hell and i promised my li'l teenaged self that i wouldn't have to suffer again. well, i'm definitely a liar. now that we've established that, won't you please peruse through the older posts to see if you can decipher the true from false?
and, yes, i'm part of the crew interested in la roux these days. who can possibly resist "growing pains" or any of those delicious dancey synths? or the crroooning.

July 7, 2009

a p.y.t. never can say Good-bye

i've already shared my sentiments regarding Micheal Jackson; if not on the previous post then somewhere else i have immediate access to. the memorial deal in l.a. was..excessive, but necessary for the sake of mj. he's that kinda guy. well, i don't have any opinion on the matter..another ordinary day with extravagant events going on without me.
not too perturbed.

July 4, 2009

Celebrating the Expected with boomtime

the premiere july post. are you excited? what was the last thing i was talking about the last time i was here...? uh..lists of whatever my interests were, right? ok. i am aware of the holiday in the u.s. not much to look forward to except the fireworks, but nothing hands on like back in the day or in that part of the country.

well then, i haven't been up to anything wonderful. i just found out we were supposed to go to another wedding the same week as the one we already knew about. plans were made to maybe go, but it was way costly. Michael Jackson died when i was in illinois. i heard about from cnn or something when flicking through the channels on the tv. my earliest memories of him were from an alvin and the chipmunks VHS where he was singing along with alvin (to beat it?). he definitely showed up farrah fawcett's death.
been reading again. i recently finished the odyssey, my fifth time going through the epic, and i have to say that i really enjoyed it. Homer's story is a good summer escape. You start reading and get transported to the Mediterranean sea, right next to Odysseus fleeing cannibals, visiting the dead, making offerings to the gods, braving monsters while your friends get eaten, getting seduced and held captive by godesses, and exacting revenge. i couldn't get enough..partly because there really wasn't anything to do and i wasn't eager to use the computer to entertain myself (i didn't really have one anyway). it was a nice transition after reading the iliad. i actually knew who they were talking about, in some cases, when they listed all these names of people and their relations. i was amazed. anyway, these two homer epics totally cut into my initial reading of a tree grows in brooklyn. i'm still into that. yes. not as exciting, but it's good.
ah yes, went to chicago to the taste, which had free entry but food was quite expensive.

um. saw one of my best friends in the world who i haven't heard from in nearly 16 years.
end? for now?

June 18, 2009

fear not. normalcy again. noo foreign substances?

i have some sort of fucking allergies or--hay fever? i just know my nose is running a marathon and it won't quit, the trooper. ok. so today something happened that has quelled my increasing dread over the past two months. i guess i may still be pure and good, but it hardly explains the absence of the, um, regularity for that time. it's a puzzler. a relief for the most part.

so it's summer. june is almost fucking over! i can't believe that--i don't understand how time could just blaze by and leave a stubby like that *insert snap there*. sooo. i've gotten into some odd combination of thingamajigs; in accordance with my intermittent lists, here are my current raves for the summer:

1. pomegrantes: the band. i like the fruit as well--it's tang and crunch. well, i first heard them when i was over seas and i was ecstatic. it's very pretty sounding (soft, soothing voiced) and pleasant melody induced. i can't get enough of the svaatzi uutsi. some of their songs are too short for their own good. they leave me hanging on and i have an insatiable appetite for jangly songs.

2. rompers?: i spotted them also overseas and purchase two (from the same store). i also got one over here and they're all super-cute. i like them because it's a whole outfit in one--kinda like a dress, but with more coverage. no more top/bottom coordination dilemma. the downside of this thing is extra work when going to the bathroom. it takes me back to my youth when i used to wear them too. the turbulent times of the '90s.

3. moral orel:

i know that this series was started a while back and it's been sacked from production and i knew about it before....seen it a few times. i think i thought of it was waaayyy too religious or the kind of religious satire that takes it to the extreme. however, i saw a few episodes and now, even though the asinine antics and mentality of the people of moralton get me worked up with rage, i can't stop watching it. i am totally hooked on the claymation and the storylines and the characters. ohh. it's rather hilarious.

4. nail polish: this is another trip to the 90s. i was deprived of color and when i got back i went all out on my nails. sometimes. i don't know why this has returned to my life. general regression.

5. reading: the iliad is the shit. it's gory. and i like all the names. diomedes.

i can't think of anything else that gets me crazy. tomorrow is supposed to be fun. looking forward to saturday, too, although that may be a lonely time event.

June 6, 2009

Getting a vulgar high

Shit. I just had a whole house to myself for a week. in all honesty, it was fucking boring. most of the time i spent reminiscing about oxford and my other odd adventures--the good-looking, well dressed boys...moo-moos...walking everywhere with my feet dead. OH THE MOTHERFUCKING MEMORIES. i feel like i have no purpose back here and there needs to be scrupulous planning to alleviate this harrowing madness welling up inside. i'm being such a bum and regressing to procrastinating adolescence. soo fucking immature. that's a side note in addition to the fact that i'm really nor doing anything. sure, watching saving private ryan and the nutty professor (the first eddie murphy version) makes for a relatively pleasant night in...on a friday night...when you're 15. i guess.
what am i to do?

May 29, 2009

oh juvenile crush! you ruin my Life so.

something that's been plaguing me at the moment, for a while actually, is this whole issue of relationships/love/that deal. what sparked my longing was seeing mr. used-to-sit-next-to-me unexpectedly today. i couldn't believe it at first, he looked slightly familiar, but i thought it wise to dismiss it.

i am a naive, curious girl, though. i had to steal another look in the general direction of the first sighting and, sure enough, it was really him. there was a flutter in my abdomen and, being a little frightened, looked down in an attempt to become invisible. that always works, right? well, it did in my mind. i'm sure i was flushing pink. he probably saw me. gah. it was so stupid of me to feel like that over him--he really isn't the type of guy i generally like. shit. i feel so damn desperate.

could he be the one?..unlikely....
so, i'm taking this moment to declare that i'm not giving up hope. i also took to heart some information my friend gave me a while back and was recently reiterated when i was reading some magazine: if micheal cera has an asian girfriend there must be some cute, funny, and mybe slightly awkward white boy out there for me. i'd prefer european, but for some odd reason i sense it'll be more like midwestern or canadian.

May 27, 2009


as am i.

here we are, back in the united states. when i returned i didn't really feel as if anything was remotely different--just sorta like a return to normalcy and sunshine. quite the contrast i experienced when i was in england for the first time. there was this nonexistent transition.
i can't explain it and i wish it didn't come off so easy. i would've preferred a little mental and physical distress, but i guess that's just me.
i haven't been up to much since my return except watching too much tv (hence the title of this post. can you figure out where it's from? i was surprised it came up where it did, but, you know, kids this days...) and frequenting target (that was probably the place i missed most when i was in europe), but now i find myself yearning for good ol' city centre with it's primark and leisure walking times. i also long for moo-moos and i really regret having high tea only twice--the first time without even trying scones with the clotted cream! oh! it's a travesty.
i'm still concerned about if anything happened back in march..if anything.

May 16, 2009

Who wins... Oxford or Cambridge?

who won? whose knowledgeable pupils rein supreme? i don't know, really. i prefer the cambridge city center, but i've only seen it once. perhaps more elaborations to come.

May 8, 2009

the late Update

i really feel like i need to post something since i have all this fucking drafts that will eventually be done in the near future, quite possibly when i get back home from this long, long, long, long, trip. there will be pictures galore and awkward anecdotes that will fill this webspace and hopefully induce seizures, laughter, and the spontaneous urge to break out in interpretive dance.

ok, so my trip here is near it's end and i haven't been to all the places i wanted to go ( is a huge issue here), but it's still been splendiferous. been working on my social experiment observations..i guess that reference will make more sense when i finally post up the "3 bitches in dublin" thing i started ages ago..anyway, look for my critically acclaimed, soon-to-be award winning book about how people act when they're drunk/sober/angry/bitching/faking to be totally nice when they're really a fucking conniving wannabe ho--it's gonna have everything. it'll be accompanied by pictures of eggwhore, leggy lips, some pretty boys/girls, and pancakes. it's such a shame i lost my original notebook because i had recorded some good shit in there (also rather informational and personal).

i'm waaaaaaaaayyyy looking forward to getting back home..sort of. i would totally stay longer in europe if i had more money and had planned more shit out. one thing i'm really looking forward to (among driving my car--which is actually bad for the environment, i know--,eating cheap and delicious fruit, and target) is seeing passion pit. i have seen one live kinda band here and they were great. The lead singer had the moves. It was in scotland. Yeah, no, they were absolutely pussy-riffic. As in they had no fucking great rocking aura about them and the band members seemed extremely eclectic, in a horrible-clashing-you-don't-belong-together-in-a-band way. I'm way bummed i couldn't see the joy formidable in oxford and that i fucking missed mstrkrft in glasgow. i'm most fucking gutted about the mstrkrft cuz they were playing real close to where i was staying and i was being a lazy fuck stying in and sleeping--goddammit. this upsetting rant will be continued in the past with my post about scotland so i might elaborate on that later/earilier(?).

today we'll be going to stonehenge and some other towns around there. it's fucking raining and windy which equals fucking cold. i mean, i like rain, but not when we're gonna probably be out all day and shit like that. this trip was also on a fucking friday..coulda been doing other things. going to other places on our own. i guess i'm mostly pissed off about everything (group trips) being pushed til the end. bullshittt. ish.

i hope that's long enough to quell your insatiable thirst for the some of the events in my life so far. i gotta try to do some evaluation now.

alas. no love interests here.
relatively cute, but genuinely intangible.

April 6, 2009

i am tired of planning everything out. and i really need access to electrical outlets. isn't it so nice that i no longer really require the internet, but basic electricity?

i went to london on saturday. got lost and had quite the adventure on the tube. saw/heard more filipinos. returned to general civilization and observed some guy watching cruel intentions on his laptop on the bus back into oxford. yeah. wouldn't we all be in for it cuz of the selma blair & sarah michelle gellar kiss?

school really rather...


and i've taken a fancy to watching crime/cops/investigating lewis last night for example..

sorry for the rambling.

March 18, 2009

an electronically dependent faces the Old World. Plans!

third time i've accessed internet in about a week. my god..i can't believe it since i'm usually on everyday except for the weekends but even then...when i get bored and i wanna check if somethings's been's great. im in some coffee place at the moment and it's rather chill. i just really dislike that there's this time limit on the wi-fi access. and i'm totally stressing over planning to go to dublin. seriously. it's so fucking last minute.

March 15, 2009

void of the uncertainties and considerations.

been here for about a week really ain't that bad. i caught a cold much like when i was in chicago, but it wasn't so bad since my recovery time was way faster. i don't understand's probably because it isn't nearly as cold (no snow or or awful windshields). the recent weather has been pleasant considering the sun is actually out the whole day.

March 5, 2009

Ready yet?

Basically befuddled over what i've been doing for the last five hours: packing things for about the next three months of my existence in the u.k./europe. it's too stressful and time-consuming worrying about what to pack and how much of it and if it's still within regulation to take...

i'm off to do more..

and the answer is "no".

February 24, 2009

it's the ATTENTION we Crave

these past two days have been..ok. typical school stuff going on (the traffic and parking problems, however, appear to be heightened this semester) and i suppose the only odd thing has been some, uhhheerrmm, unwanted attention..? i could understand the "hey" and nod from the guy i sat behind in math during the winter session, but..these other unsettling, horrid creatures clamoring for my attention?? i mean, this old, and i mean into super-late middle aged, guy with his fake-ass gold rolex and chains fucking honks his horn at me and stops his car, rolling down his window to ask me how to get to some street. i was aware of the street name, but i had no fucking idea where it was, so i says to him, i says, "I don't know." Then the sick fuck asked where i was walking to, to which i replied (in a nonchalant tone) the next street (a general direction), and offered me a ride. no durr, i reclined. who knows what might've become of me?? even with the best intentions, the guy was extremely creepy.

incident 2: occurred today after the meeting i went to for oxford going...i was near my car and this guy in his two door hatchback slows down next to me and the following dialogue takes place:

CW (creepy weirdo): "Where are you parked?"
WA (wary asian): "Why?"
CW: "'Cuz I want to park in your spot."
WA: *Points to dark-blue jetta within 10 ft. vicinity*
CW: "Oh, there's some enough space behind your car." *parks*
"It's really hard to find a parking space."
WA: "Oh yeah. It was really crowded here yesterday."
CW: "I know. Thanks."
WA: "You're welcome." (probably inaudible, but i said it.)

It's generally nice to be noticed, but by these kind of people? WHY? What is it? God, i'm really fearing another odd run in tomorrow. Maybe this time it can be someone acceptable..or at least James Franco..that would be nice indeed.

February 19, 2009

__% chilled Out

God, i am fucking halfway done with this damn winter semester. Worst EVer. It currently ranks #1 in horribleness in classes and as an overview for the whole session. Great, winter '09, you totally take the cake. At the moment i'm 35% chillin', still stressing over the goddamn internet class which is and always will be the shittiest thing in education i've had to face (ooohh, wait, SATs and APs factor into this too..i guess i should say RECENTLY).

The only thing i'm looking forward to is my unmitigated day of relaxation tomorrow. God, the things i plan to do..

February 14, 2009

Love? SICK!!

last year i might've been a wee bit spiteful. i still hold some grudge against this day. well, i think i've gotten accustomed to loneliness. lived this way since i was a kid--ain't no escaping it.i know i've only got a little to say these days. i guess not much is going on and/or i'm too forgetful. leaving it.

February 13, 2009

late at night..when you're all alone..
or maybe post-coitus with your teenage crush..

another friday falling on this date. i remember mentioning the frequent occurrences of ft13 in the past and being--i don't exactly know how to put it--shocked and/or annoyed about them. another one today. i'm neither flabbergasted nor scared about it. just another day, really. unless, perhaps, you're at camp crystal lake.
i'm agonizing over this transformation, too. i don't want it realized.
sadly, inevitable.

February 8, 2009

i am still Here

What's kinda really freaking me out right now, besides the shit i've gotta be writing for the internets, is the fact that this time next month i'mma be not here where i usually am. i'll be in in the fucking u.k. god. the time will jet like and, yeah, you'll be getting post about my adventures over there..rather than the sad ending not i started on with this blog. when i really take the time to think about my upcoming journey there, i get filled with trepidation and the whole deal seems daunting. oh man. freaking out..i still have to think about/plan the things i want to do, but i hardly have any time with the ellipses. parabolas, and systems of equations i gotta be dealing with everyday. it's stressful. the rain this past weekend was nice. it was cold and occasionally lightning-i-fied.
there really isn't anything great anymore is there?

February 3, 2009

Cramer's vs. Kramer: Determinants run on Plastic

saw mr. i-used-to-sit-next-to-you who i have recently dubbed james franco. i noticed him first and then the whole niko-niko deal occurred with nods and all.
highlight of my day.
i think i may have fucked up my math test. lies lies lies!! it was difficult!! even with the extra time today.

January 31, 2009

fare thee well, my 8 year old masochistic enthusiast

OH! already the end of the month. nothing really exciting happened. and i'm not having a particularly good time nowadays. one thing i'm totally disliking is my online class. it's the worst i've taken. ever. i think it's cuz we don't watch movies about aliens/zombies/superheroes and i have no idea what the people in my class look like (it's more likely i forgot what they look like...alas, no more monstertits).

it's been more quiet around here since the people visiting left. i realize now that i miss the kid quite a bit. he was cute and quizzical and bilingual and he oddly reminded me of myself when i was younger, with the exception of him being a boy and being more talkative/loud. he was a funny little guy, occasionally conflicting damage on himself.

patiently and apprehensively waiting for march to roll around. it'll be coming right quick.

January 10, 2009

When you're old enough I'll Eat You

I'm so happy! My little basil plant has sprouted! check it out:

i was starting to get disappointed when i noticed that the little black seeds were unresponsive to the water, sunlight and attention i was showering it with, but over the last few days i started to see the progression into consumable vegetation. It's exciting!
the little sprouts do look rather unappealing, almost like worms. well, it is a phase they'll grow out of eventually.

yes. it's what i've been doing since the new year.

January 7, 2009

2009. shit you look FINE.

♪heeeeeey there 2009--you done crossed the line♪ ~
♪i can sense the wonder you possess like my seemingly unending obsess...ion with alex turner.♪ ~
♪but, i ain't no mad fanatic. he's just cute, don't get ecstatic♪

sorry if that's an annoying song. so welcome to the new year! uh, six days late. sorry again for not being so punctual or repetitive as last year. nothing big is going down at the moment. eventually, but not now.
so. people have been going around talking about their resolutions (erhmm, weight especially) and i think it's time i make some. maybe. for everyone who cares to see:

1. read more: finish stuff i started reading (curse you, wuthering heights!) and the list from dear, old nicholson.

2. watch more classic films: i tried to get into casablanca (alas, it was late at night after a tiring day...ingrid bergman looked spectacular) an' i really need to watch la nouvelle vague (goddard/truffaut/the rest of 'em). got this kinda started with some breakfast at tiffany's

3. attain more pals: you can be across the sea or next to me...just please don't flee..we'll share rare commonalities

4. uh..maintain cuteness: internal, external, the whole shebang.

5. eruditely work at acquiring a new language: romance language perchance?

i'd like to see how long these idea last. the greatest thing to look forward to, however, will be in march. i don't know if i'mma have the time of my life [yet] but i thoroughly expect to. where my badass mothafuckas at?