January 28, 2014

Makes Fonder

january certainly is a long month. i've even been busy with actually things which usually entails the sensation of time flying by (and it has in certain situations), but it's still january. at least the year is starting out well. i'm doing things and being old! it's more responsible than normal. i think it's surprising i've made three posts this month.
until recently, i was quite sure about how i felt and where things would go. then i did something kind of crazy that, well, it didn't exactly fuck up my life, but it created complications. what happened this past weekend: critical information was revealed! there was serious talking. i had my socks shocked off (literally)! at one point i wished for a time machine. now i'm confused and very sad. the entire experience was amazing, it was everything i wanted to know and to some extent do...it's just so late. i don't know what's going to happen. i know what i'd like to do. of course i could go on and on about this, it's seriously major, and it's actually a good news sort of thing, however more fitting for an elaborating of the written kind.

January 6, 2014

still the days

and so, the tides have changed. this really feels like a dream. and i'll wake up in a few hours disappointed and foaming at the mouth.

January 1, 2014

nothing New

i just thought i should get a head start with this. i want to post more this year, even if it's nonsense. well, it will be until something exciting worth posting comes around. you know how rare those things are. well, yes.

December 31, 2013

like in films

maybe i should base my life on fantasy. it usually works out. if not, it'l at least change. or maybe complicate things to the pleasure of the audience.

December 24, 2013

x no mas


hello. it's christmas eve. ummm. actually can't remember when i posted about something important.
i'm happy after all these years i'm remembered by someone and we're communicating. it's a great sensation--like floating.

December 15, 2013

the single Girl



I was going through my old...documents from five or more years ago. Apparently i kept a wishlist about everything, even the intangible. this included a description of my ideal man.

my cute boy (I will really be getting into specifics..): he’s mixed (ideally European and asian, my ultimate fantasy is French and Japanese!), hopefully not from the U.S….i was thinking somewhere in europe like Glasgow.., he should have a decent sense of style (omfg. like the casualness of apc or something), enjoys [adultswim] & cartoons and … kurt Vonnegut, mythology (greek), sweets, video games, takes care of his face/skin en generalmente, can seriously bust a move, serenade me with sam cooke/marvin gaye/pavement/beatles songs (or..other songs I find sickeningly romantic); I’d prefer him to have glasses ... but it’d be ok if he didn’t…and had sad eyes instead (both would be AWESOME!), scraggly bearded, taller than me (not a difficult requirement), a possessor of general and obscure intellect, speaks in an irresistible baritone that isn’t too deep and monotonous with a hint of another dialectal English that generally sounds cute, is capable of (vague as a minimum) speaking at least three languages (or more, always a plus, especially if they are of the romantic family), a player of musical instruments (comme guitar, piano, …idk what else.), can cook deliciousness when needed, able to draw anything remotely amazing/humorous/strange, a multi-humorist by nature (abundance of potty and smut…oh, I can’t believe I like shit like that..), it would be ok if he smoked once in a while...a wearer of nice kicks that don’t necessarily cost a grip, who doesn’t wear cheap ass cologne/axe, not too terribly fat (at least weigh more than I do)"

this is naivety at its peak. there are some omissions from this entry to the real one because...i sounded really stupid. and that happens. over the years since the creation of this list, which i haven't updated in a looong time, i've met a fair amount of guys who have met some of the requirements. i don't know if there is any man out there who can even come close to being everything i'd like, list-wise. dang, how could i be so fastidious? hmmm, well, at this point in my life i could settle for the right combination. the only consistent trait my guys have had is wearing glasses. i'm still waiting for that frapanese man.

November 23, 2013

ode 3

A general post is overdue. As there has been an absence of poignancy in my life most of this year (with the exception of extreme irrational fears and the baby steps taken to conquer them), i've basically ignored this blog because, well, what could i possibly say? if i had chosen to include a synopsis of my daily activities, the mundane excitement i experience right now...i'm sure anyone who ventured here would've become overwhelmed with upset. so. until something wonderful and poignant pops up, i'm certain the flow of content will inevitably slow.

but i think i did something bad. i don't regret it, actually, despite feeling like i should've let go of everything. and it seems i was forgotten. what to do now? i refuse to be unresponsive for a second time.