if you've been Bad or Good

after watching the complete first season of american horror story, i will admit to finding evan peters attractive.

maybe it was the portrayal of his character (oh that troubled youth would affect me again!) or the way he looked in bedhead hair with oversized sweaters or when he would wear that gimp suit--but he ensnared me. i want to curl up in bed with him and stare into his soulful eyes. or do whatever people do in beds..the most appealing aspect of evan peter's take on tate langdon was his devotion, how he would do anything to protect violet, how he couldn't fathom to be away from her, like violet was the only thing in the world that mattered (this came to be that one time when he told her she had been the light in the darkness he was made of). ...in my case, this has never happened to me. mr. peters fulfills the fantasy of knowing that one day i'll meet someone (dead or alive) who cares. and then i started to watch the second season of american horror story (asylum) and mr. peters was in it too as kit: 

there's something about him that's so... irresistible. what i wouldn't give to have him look at me that way,,, and today i started thinking, comparing if you will, a similar actor, someone who might make an interesting chiaro to mr. evan's scuro. the conclusion was michael cera.

look at that. i mean, there's some kind of white guy weirdo resemblance that i definitely can't shake. michael cera is not darkness or trouble or anything negative really. whenever i look at him, or even think about his voice, i smile and imagine rainbows, cotton candy, and dolphins frolicking in a purple sea. something pleasant, slightly lisa frank. 

...it's not quite as attractive...maybe cute? geeky, nerdy, i play video games for 13 hours a day cute? well, he's still someone i like. i can't believe he's canadian, it's totally news to me. 

anyway, this side-by-side comparison is kinda hilarious.

i don't know why this is a christmas post. 

santa should've left this to fill my stocking.

hohoho.

oh juvenile crush! you ruin my Life so.

something that's been plaguing me at the moment, for a while actually, is this whole issue of relationships/love/that deal. what sparked my longing was seeing mr. used-to-sit-next-to-me unexpectedly today. i couldn't believe it at first, he looked slightly familiar, but i thought it wise to dismiss it.

i am a naive, curious girl, though. i had to steal another look in the general direction of the first sighting and, sure enough, it was really him. there was a flutter in my abdomen and, being a little frightened, looked down in an attempt to become invisible. that always works, right? well, it did in my mind. i'm sure i was flushing pink. he probably saw me. gah. it was so stupid of me to feel like that over him--he really isn't the type of guy i generally like. shit. i feel so damn desperate.


so, i'm taking this moment to declare that i'm not giving up hope. i also took to heart some information my friend gave me a while back and was recently reiterated when i was reading some magazine: if micheal cera has an asian girfriend there must be some cute, funny, and mybe slightly awkward white boy out there for me. i'd prefer european, but for some odd reason i sense it'll be more like midwestern or canadian.