June 8, 2010

Death Race of Modern life

with all the minutely frustrating events going on in my life, i find it odd for me to realize i'm a bad person. not bad in all sense of the word, but, like, making everything appear horrid to the extreme. i'll try not to exaggerate the aggravations. try.
so, im getting used to this loneliness. it's the inevitable. been like this for a while and...ehh. not just that it's easier to deal with, but it's a state i've been in for the longest time, throughout my life, which makes a little sense if you know my persoal history. hmm. what i can't figure out--it just doesn't make sense that i'd be this way considering where i come from (and, no, i'm not referencing my midwest days). polar opposite? The continuing divergence i strive for in every way possible?

it's finally getting unbearably warm. i'm looking forward to getting brown like usual. i really want to color up (responsibly) before i head back home. i knew i was gonna ghost up here; it looks so unhealthy...and i've been involved in these discussions about whiteness and i've been disturbed by the lengths some people (women) go to in order to shield themselves from the sun.
here's how i envision my summer to sound like.

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