no expectations

it's ....kinda like what i anticipated. i'm not sure why i thought it wouldn't be otherwise. it's a dreadful feeling and it makes me a little sick. some of this is turning out to be a disappointment. also. it's really strange that now i'm meeting even more people or at least starting to recognize that people here, some of them, are actually quite nice. i have yet to find what i been looking for. or..to at least attain it.