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this week without my music has been wretched, thought it isn't nearly as horrible as i had imagined it would be when i started thinking about everything last sunday afternoon. i miss singing on the fly and having my own personal bus soundtrack. dance routines have also been put on hold..until saturday (hopefully).
since this month has been passing by rather quickly, i'm excited about returning home. it's gonna be a bitch moving out and getting my luggage where it needs to be--overlooking all that shit, however, gets me dreaming of moving into my own place in cali, westwood, and having my life in the general, lazy order it's been used to. everyday i feel so much more better knowing i'll be back..the rest of my summer/time before school also consists of plans of greatness galore (lake tahoe, new york city!! finalement!!, maybe oregon/nevada?). excited. excited beyond any words that can express the level of excitement i have.
i'm having another surge in nouvelle vague. it makes me wish for meaningful nostalgia and love affairs with men already involved with someone they think is the one. or just a french guy.
other aspects helping me through these base times: courage the cowardly dog and tiny toon adventures. hilarious. i adore courage. sometimes i throw in a little daria and i know my life can't be that bad. or at least i'll know there are others suffering on the inside just as much as me without truly caring.
i am going to miss my kindergarteners dearly. thinking about leaving gets me all teary eyed, especially when they hug me and say, "I love you."
A monumental feat has been accomplished (aside from sticking to this for over year)—50th post! Yay! Where’s the confetti and fireworks? Well, I guess that would be a waste of festivity products since this is an unknown project being conducted by a daft creature. Oh, woe to the troubles that inflict my life.
I have been experiencing a longing of home—my real home, not L.A., not anywhere in California, but back in the good ol’ city, usually under the radar of hipness (…there’s just not that much hype connected to it as, say, NYC or, indeed, the one-dimensional LA or, dare I mention another thing in CA…SF), Chicago. My god. I wish I had explored the crevices and bowels of the city…the knowledge I would have gained if I had never arrived in this land of fire and fakery. So many things that I’ve been missing…if only I was more of a diligent, enthusiastic kid back in my high school days.
DETOUR!!
I affirmed my thing for Grant Imahara of MythBusters last weekend.
OH. no idealism, please. There have been a few 'Grants' I've been intrigued by in the last couple of weeks...
More retrospecting: I am currently reading The Phantom Tollbooth, a reminder of fourth grade. I was just thinking about what went on in the book so I decided to reread it among all the other texts I’ve gotta read for schools (Oh, Père Goriot, you unfortunate coot). TPT is utterly clever. There are so many puns and interesting uses of metaphors and plays on words & ideas. Me and Milo, folks, we have the same ideals...although I don't think mine will change at the end of the book as I speculate his will.
All right.
I'm off to wallow in freakish misery. forever.
i'm no humperdinck, though.
