It's beginning to look a lot like..failure

since i'm failing in school right now (unintentionally for the first time! it was supposed to really matter! ugh~i'm trying, too!), i don't feel at all positive. there's too much pressure riding on me/this; all these people, some of who i don't even know that well and have made me their honorary "adopted" daughter (why do the majority of my parents' friends have sons? re: deadline for marriage/babies). overwhelming!
at least i'm 2/3 done with my finals. they weren't horrible to take, but the overall accumulation of "work" i've submitted will ultimately be my downfall.
sometimes i wish i went to art school. like, the one in sf or something; they always used to send me stuff about what was being offered, why it was ok to go there...etc. all the more fueling my case for an oh-7 reepeat.

oh, i should take all this into my own hands and at least be pleased with what i'm fucking up.