how I spent my summer (vacation)

it must be noted that this blog is officially seven years old. marvelous, but illaudable.

i honestly thought this summer was going to be absolute shit. some of it was and i loathed the idea of the season continuing for a few more months, but some nice things happened that almost made up for the awfulness. the worst part was the injuries i sustained. let's see...i got burned, cut up, bitten, bruised, etc. the burning was the worst--and all that was merely the physical damage i went through. other things effected my mental bits. this blog is not the medium to discuss such topics so let's have no more questions about my mental bits.
i had too much time to contemplate in a more intense state than i usually allot. from wandering all sides of the country, all the things i've seen and heard has brought made me realize: I've done everything wrong. it wasn't premeditated, i assume, it was the choices and the ultimate results that were so wrong. dang.
i've have fairly nice time rediscovering video games and cooking things (i made éclairs! they were really ugly, but they tasted good--probably because of the chocolate) and seeing nice people from my past. albert and i were able to do some traveling as well.

we'll be having a birthday party for him next week.

Fuck the estate

100 exp. to anyone who understands the wonderful hidden play on words in the post title.
A fucking idiot asked me what i hoped to accomplish by the end of summer. the obvious answer, in lieu of the standard response of nothing, was to finishing reading the brothers karamazov (if only to quell my deep desire to heed nicholson's advice). having actually been thinking about how to waste my time, here's the updated list of what i'll be trying to do:

Finish reading A Song of Ice and Fire, up to the latest book. reading the actually novels is so much better than the show; i can make characters uglier or more attractive as opposed to their live action counter parts...and i actually remember the characters instead of wondering who the fuck the man in the tattered smock is.

Catullus. Getting you into my life; your words move me.

Anaïs Nin* why can't my life be as yours was?

French and Italians* because i miss it.

The return of bad habits on the balcony. It worked the first time and 2 liters of vodka will make it easier.

i can't think of anything else at the moment, only sensible activities like volunteering or interning or working at a godawful place. who wants to do shit like that? ... well, i do, to a lesser extent.

*here's a haul of free books i've taken into custody after raiding a vacant apartment. i'll keep them, adore them as they once were adored, and return them should the original owner(s) ask me nicely.


on a completely unrelated note, i am fucking obsessed with iain glen as jack taylor. it's the kind of show that you think might be absolute shite when you see jorah mormont skulking around galway in an oversized coat, but once you start watching it hooks you like some wonderful drug.

Too due

here's to hopeless wishful thinking i'll get to have fun before fall hits (or a list of things i'd like to do by then):

-beach
-zoo/aquarium
-watch a film in a theater(i don't mean the one where i've been working at..unless there's something good showing. the couches there sure look comfy.)
-visit a dog
-pranzare a un ristorante buono
-see buddy holly again. at least once. ... who am i kidding?? i want the weekly hangouts back!
-find a way out of this country
-cream
-girl talk*
-art museum
-long walks to nowhere
-tacos
-be "happy"

i'm going to do as many of these things as possible. that most likely entails i'll be going alone. ... hmm, it's not like i ever do things with other people anyway.
*you need not be a girl to engage in this sort of talk with me, but the dynamics of this specific talk should be understood.

Death Race of Modern life

with all the minutely frustrating events going on in my life, i find it odd for me to realize i'm a bad person. not bad in all sense of the word, but, like, making everything appear horrid to the extreme. i'll try not to exaggerate the aggravations. try.
so, im getting used to this loneliness. it's the inevitable. been like this for a while and...ehh. not just that it's easier to deal with, but it's a state i've been in for the longest time, throughout my life, which makes a little sense if you know my persoal history. hmm. what i can't figure out--it just doesn't make sense that i'd be this way considering where i come from (and, no, i'm not referencing my midwest days). polar opposite? The continuing divergence i strive for in every way possible?

it's finally getting unbearably warm. i'm looking forward to getting brown like usual. i really want to color up (responsibly) before i head back home. i knew i was gonna ghost up here; it looks so unhealthy...and i've been involved in these discussions about whiteness and i've been disturbed by the lengths some people (women) go to in order to shield themselves from the sun.
here's how i envision my summer to sound like.

dreaming of summer sauntering in Echo park. W/O hipsters.

oh me. oh may. now intonate invariably to speak in a new language. maybe. anyway. this month was kinda enjoyable. maybe because i saw some people i'd been wanting to see and i didn't work as much as the two previous months. not so stressed anymore (except dealing with 1^st & 2^nd). i'm trying to make this the best month ever...at least before august and september. so, i'll try to keep low expectations and whatever eagerness still lingers for any upcoming events.

also, since it's been getting warmer (the weather here is...not at all to my liking) i've been craving to bust out in dresses or skirts. however. not here. no. i want to; alternatively, i figure it would bring unwanted attention from those i don't care to become the object of interest. anyway here's my summer cloths (i mean cloth + s, not a typo) lust list thus far:

Dresses:

i like that it's babydoll. the print kinda reminds me of tigers. it's kinda a nite time summer dress; good for fall transistion, no?
at OC.

This is adorable and oc-ish, but for cheaps. cheapers. i'm into those trippy, messier (galactical, refer to this French Guy) colors.

madewelll..
to be honest, i'm totally diggin' in a ton of that madewell stuff. like, so seriously.


rag and bone stripey. it reminds me of that thrift store tshirt i left in l.a., but this is longer and with pockets and more $$.

i can't get the picture for the last one, but its from uo.

and.... Hermès. i think the durn kellys and birkins have begun to infect my brain. here would be a cheap alternative (though, looks like it wouldn't hold heavy shit):

at coc.

[Bl]and what? a summer travesty

it's the last day of july! oh shitts. and next week i have to go off to some wedding that i'm not to keen on now (no, no, it isn't mine. there prolly ain't nobody who's gonna spend the rest of their life with me). this post really serves no poignant purpose and i'm not even going to bring up stuff from the past. i guess. however, i'm sadly realizing that summer is slowly decaying away...i've wasted it for the most part and i'm spending my days in anguish. i think they get worse every year...except maybe 2006. that was some genuine fun, if i recall. nothing like that nowadays, it's just the monotony of this country of where i am of who i don't know.

i really want to make this long. more unnecessary and eclectic typing: i have been watching the first season of the venture bros. and listening to the commentary. it's very erratic and tangential, usually, regarding whatever is happening in the episode at the time. it's not something i'm used to, having also been watching dvds of old simpsons episodes and listening to that commentary. they explain stuff and then again, i haven't heard what doc hammer and jackson publick have said about episodes in the other seasons. yet. bored out of mind otherwise and this isn't a particularly great outlet.
not nearly long enough! oh god.
lack of it. of all of it.
i'd like to have a good massage.

fear not. normalcy again. noo foreign substances?

i have some sort of fucking allergies or--hay fever? i just know my nose is running a marathon and it won't quit, the trooper. ok. so today something happened that has quelled my increasing dread over the past two months. i guess i may still be pure and good, but it hardly explains the absence of the, um, regularity for that time. it's a puzzler. a relief for the most part.

so it's summer. june is almost fucking over! i can't believe that--i don't understand how time could just blaze by and leave a stubby like that *insert snap there*. sooo. i've gotten into some odd combination of thingamajigs; in accordance with my intermittent lists, here are my current raves for the summer:

1. pomegrantes: the band. i like the fruit as well--it's tang and crunch. well, i first heard them when i was over seas and i was ecstatic. it's very pretty sounding (soft, soothing voiced) and pleasant melody induced. i can't get enough of the svaatzi uutsi. some of their songs are too short for their own good. they leave me hanging on and i have an insatiable appetite for jangly songs.

2. rompers?: i spotted them also overseas and purchase two (from the same store). i also got one over here and they're all super-cute. i like them because it's a whole outfit in one--kinda like a dress, but with more coverage. no more top/bottom coordination dilemma. the downside of this thing is extra work when going to the bathroom. it takes me back to my youth when i used to wear them too. the turbulent times of the '90s.

3. moral orel:


i know that this series was started a while back and it's been sacked from production and i knew about it before....seen it a few times. i think i thought of it was waaayyy too religious or the kind of religious satire that takes it to the extreme. however, i saw a few episodes and now, even though the asinine antics and mentality of the people of moralton get me worked up with rage, i can't stop watching it. i am totally hooked on the claymation and the storylines and the characters. ohh. it's rather hilarious.

4. nail polish: this is another trip to the 90s. i was deprived of color and when i got back i went all out on my nails. sometimes. i don't know why this has returned to my life. general regression.

5. reading: the iliad is the shit. it's gory. and i like all the names. diomedes.



i can't think of anything else that gets me crazy. tomorrow is supposed to be fun. looking forward to saturday, too, although that may be a lonely time event.