nothing New

i just thought i should get a head start with this. i want to post more this year, even if it's nonsense. well, it will be until something exciting worth posting comes around. you know how rare those things are. well, yes.

how I spent my summer (vacation)

it must be noted that this blog is officially seven years old. marvelous, but illaudable.

i honestly thought this summer was going to be absolute shit. some of it was and i loathed the idea of the season continuing for a few more months, but some nice things happened that almost made up for the awfulness. the worst part was the injuries i sustained. let's see...i got burned, cut up, bitten, bruised, etc. the burning was the worst--and all that was merely the physical damage i went through. other things effected my mental bits. this blog is not the medium to discuss such topics so let's have no more questions about my mental bits.
i had too much time to contemplate in a more intense state than i usually allot. from wandering all sides of the country, all the things i've seen and heard has brought made me realize: I've done everything wrong. it wasn't premeditated, i assume, it was the choices and the ultimate results that were so wrong. dang.
i've have fairly nice time rediscovering video games and cooking things (i made éclairs! they were really ugly, but they tasted good--probably because of the chocolate) and seeing nice people from my past. albert and i were able to do some traveling as well.

we'll be having a birthday party for him next week.

In the vicinity of Eleven

so! in retrospect, this was probably a pretty shit year. again. maybe not as disturbing as 2007, but, from my recollection, it's among the shittiest. top three, maybe? i'm thinking it had a lot to do with what i (wasn't) doing and my first time doing things (so, so disappointing. surprised i didn't die from embarrassment). to get into specifics would be tedious, not worth a read. an imagination, sure. leaving the oh-ten at that.

looking ahead,i sure as hell want to either end this frustrating, continuous shit or grow whatever the female equivalent of cajones are (giant, estrogen pumping ovaries?). my initial indecisiveness is getting the better of me and all reasoning thus far calls for the former.
i know i want to list all too specific resolutions that i stick to as much as my willingness to "better myself" tempts me. last year turned out to be a fiasco as i left for someplace where i had basically no control. ehh. i'm up for trying this time around. aside from continuing with last year's piff, i want to get this out of the way as well: attaining a guy. Why is it so elusive? Was that number/muscle-y self portrait combo the best thing that ever happened to me? god, and i lost it, too.

hoping to get more depressed, my number one priority.

proceeding classiness; yes, it goes over

there is no reason for this one. like most others that start out this way and end up on an all too specific subject that has been bugging me for a long time. i feel there has to be something since i haven't said anything in a bit. well, i've been readin' some graphic novels, the spirit and watchmen respectively, and finding odd, almost scary connections with their general plots in relation to my science class. i don't know why nor do i wish to express the similarities at the moment.

genuinely despondent. ahhh..well. i can't say otherwise. i need to get over this grand scheme of protraction.