so! in retrospect, this was probably a pretty shit year. again. maybe not as disturbing as 2007, but, from my recollection, it's among the shittiest. top three, maybe? i'm thinking it had a lot to do with what i (wasn't) doing and my first time doing things (so, so disappointing. surprised i didn't die from embarrassment). to get into specifics would be tedious, not worth a read. an imagination, sure. leaving the oh-ten at that.
looking ahead,i sure as hell want to either end this frustrating, continuous shit or grow whatever the female equivalent of cajones are (giant, estrogen pumping ovaries?). my initial indecisiveness is getting the better of me and all reasoning thus far calls for the former.
i know i want to list all too specific resolutions that i stick to as much as my willingness to "better myself" tempts me. last year turned out to be a fiasco as i left for someplace where i had basically no control. ehh. i'm up for trying this time around. aside from continuing with last year's piff, i want to get this out of the way as well: attaining a guy. Why is it so elusive? Was that number/muscle-y self portrait combo the best thing that ever happened to me? god, and i lost it, too.
hoping to get more depressed, my number one priority.