I am at odds with what to do. I just have no idea if I should continue the way I’m going or try something else that might lead to being truly happy, which I guess I haven’t experienced since I was in fourth grade back in that forest park school and that Coughlin boy gave me a drawing (of his future/current muscled self?) with his number all saying, “Call me when you get to California.” I didn’t. I’ve also lost the picture. Shit.
I need a sign—something to help me make a final decision. I don’t know anything anymore.
December 15, 2007
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