it's not really my party

jghfjf khgfhg jhfgjgf mgf gdj hgd mhgdf kgfhrd mhgdk thf bfdjgfd kf nbcjfgsdj gf kyf kbvgf lfnbf.
actually, it's my birthday today. that's about it. you can expect dining out with people and..yeah. Maybe someone will give me money and say something they think is nice. whatever. there was this bitch who said the most atrocious thing, thinking i wouldn't fucking understand. jeeeezz.
i bet you're all excited that i can legally buy alcohol and cigarettes at the same time. Whatevers.
Here is the general feeling for today along performed bya band i simply can't get enough of:

oh my tod

it's, like...right for the occasion. since you're not giving me any presents, or really wishing me anything, i'll give back to you for the fucking heck of it.
i'm that nice. maybe.

feelin' FINE

it's one week until my birthday. what shit.
i've discovered that i can no longer apply for winter semester/quarter at university--i guess i misunderstood the deadline. probably also since i didn't delve into the website to get more information. i feel like an idiot. however, this gives me the option to reevaluate where i want to go (nyc is my first choice regarding location, the only question is will i get in? next is berkley then l.a.).
i have no idea what the fuck i'm gonna be doing after this semester. i'd like to eventually be hired or intern or something to get out of this garish place. it continues to suck the life out of me. my number one choice for interning is the aiu thing in london or paris (only in the summer)...but it's more about money then and i'm not too sure i'll have any/much left should i continue my school shit here.
looking back, i gotta helluva lotta regrets. i never fucking shoulda gone to ucsc...i have no pride so it wouldn't have fucking mattered if i went to a goddamn uc. shit. i'm overly spiteful. this is even more of the worst i've ever had. my god, if there is such a thing.
the only thing i'm proud of regarding the last few days is my diligence in completing some stuff to send in.
i apologise for the ranting here. my speculation is that no one really reads this or if one should stumble in this page, has the inclination to read any of the posts. i don't know what to do, but i want to travel like my life depended on it. while looking cute and pretty. forever transient. there isn't anything else anyone can do to fix it.

proceeding classiness; yes, it goes over

there is no reason for this one. like most others that start out this way and end up on an all too specific subject that has been bugging me for a long time. i feel there has to be something since i haven't said anything in a bit. well, i've been readin' some graphic novels, the spirit and watchmen respectively, and finding odd, almost scary connections with their general plots in relation to my science class. i don't know why nor do i wish to express the similarities at the moment.

genuinely despondent. ahhh..well. i can't say otherwise. i need to get over this grand scheme of protraction.

Hooker shoes serve thee Well

fun, fun, fun. yum,yum,yum. this is another one of those three times same number dates. like, the last real mentionable one was in 07. i thought i was going to incorporate something more poignant, but..i've forgotten my point. why don't you focus on the title? oh. i went to the sprinkles cupcake place. it's tasty, but def not worth $4 for one of those things.

Running out of sayings and activities, enter the Internets

i am such a horrible procrastinator. super slacker incarnate in the dictionary=moi. that really has nothing to do with this post/blog. back to what i meant to discuss this time around: school.
damn, that shit never ends, do it? it'll be work soon after (i mean, career-wise, not something transient and meaningless like bedding your favourite famous person) that'll keep the rants and anecdotes coming. let's start this already.

i started last week on a tuesday very, very early in the morning. Spanish was ok. the teacher was a little late and wearing also quite little. art history was okey dokey (the most unpleasant thing about that was recognising two people i have never regarded highly occupying space in the room. that pissed me off) and contritely funny. environmental science makes me feel like a bitchy, egotistical waster bent on the destruction of this planet. how can i go on living knowing i have blood on my hands (mostly indirectly)? and here i am acting all addicted to things that people didn't fucking know about not even hundreds of years ago. It isn't as elaborate as last year and there aren't any particular cute interests i have yet. of course i'll be letting you know if that should occur, i guess..

also, i gotta be getting on that intern shit. even if i don't get in, i know i at least tried for something.
the topic of upcoming posts: college applications! god. you never think that comes around again this often.

this Could be It.

it is the end of august. school started for some people today, but i'm still free until tomorrow morning. at 7 AM. i'm ... excited? a whole day of "learning" to look forward to, eh?
the fires in southern CA are quite close to the place i inhabit. check out this smoke from right about now:


looks like mini atomic bomb went off. mountains are supposed to be there. everything is obscured by the smoke and you can see the the bright fires burning in the distance ant night.

and i guess i'll be thinking about how this was a real deadbeat summer.

drooling Nonstop

i had no idea this existed. i haven't been this excited about anything related to this since '06.



oh goooodd. did you see the part when the guys are walking back to their car in the desert kinda place and it has that fast-forwarded effect that turns slow-mo? ahhhh~!!

that wasn't how i found out, though. this was the initial discovery:



it was full on bloody nose and uncontrollable slobbering..it's rather shameful.
that's all of what i wanted to share. this will be a little obsession i will harbor. i don't even remember how i stumbled upon it in the first place...searching for stuff from final fantasy viii? i think so.
ohh. i am relapsing so bad.