so overtime

it's my birthday again. nothing happened! not even a cake or a card or a meaningful token of the recognition of age! not that i care about that at all. go about your day forgetting i started to exist on this day over 20 years ago!

breaking

i truly miss the days when i would simply write on and on about irrelevant topics usually reflecting on my day and such. Most time there was absolutely no continuity between whatever I was typing up. God and the ambiguity I tried to keep up. I like to believe that it worked anyway. There was actually a time when no one dared to look at, let alone read, anything that was posted here. Yet here we are.
honestly,there is no reason to keep this blog up. its original purpose has been lost amidst all the mopey shit and semi-sequitur things that have gone on in the last six(!!) years. there is uncertainty as to whether this will continue; certainly those who have glanced at this bit of work have noticed the decline in writings with poignant content. well, in any case, i still want to keep it up to date with a few happenings.
something i've noticed over as the weeks have gone by is the frequency of odd and frightening dreams drempt. i wake up believing they are real and my emotions range from fear to anger. mostly limited to those two. and it's so odd; these dreams only occur the second time i've fallen back asleep. you know like when you wake up really early, maybe three or four, and then fall into slumber again after a minute? that's when the darkest thoughts creep out and manifest themselves in mental visions. at least for me. it is a very scary thing.
in any discernible case, this is a dribble of no nonsense suitable for people to consider. and i'm not feeling particularly great. it's very lonely here. lonely like when you're surrounded by others, but there isn't a connection with anything.i only wish this were longer.

Feel less like a Loser

not the least bit exciting. i fell as if i mention that every time i add a little bit on here. really, though, things haven't been worth a mention, but i feel i've been away for long time. haven't been up to much--thinking about the future, looking out windows, staring at corners, and creating a new arsenal of fun, illustrated characters(the latest happens to be some variation of a disgruntled rabbit calling for revenge; please observe the original).

just felt like i should revive this. no real point here. my main concerns at the moment involve questioning if europeans are all that great and regretting my gradual evolution into a hipster. how awful.

Nearly nude and On fire

Now, I just happened to watch this on my computer this evening. I wasn't expecting anything specific, I at least hoped it wouldn't be like the 'magick' music video, and the beginning of 'golden skans' totally blew me into the nether regions of the universe. That was just so--at the time & in my case--awesomely surprising. I really thought they were naked until i watched (that specific) part over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again (In all actuality not that many times). After that it wasn't that great...kinda weird with the ribbons and them cutting into some tablet holding light. It was captivating, but not even nearly as good as that part in the beginning after "...there will be nothing...only light". That was truly, truly some good stuff.

shit days.

The need to explode is necessary

So, there really isn't much to comment on. I think, though, that no matter where I ended up I would be unhappy (--actually these events bring me to the cliff of horrible, everlasting misery). I keep thinking of how else this tragedy could have turned comedy (The Winter's Tale, anyone?), but it keeps turning into inevitable loathing and doom.

Digression, digression.

I really don't know anything remotely worth a mention. I don't know what I used to elaborate so much on, although at the moment there is some construction-related noise outside that is quite loud and bothersome.

Eewck.