i don't know if this is significant at all, especially to those who've never met me in real life...but i cried myself to sleep last night and i woke up with tears in my eyes. That has never happened before, sadness enveloping me and ruining my day before i even remember i have phonology homework due in a few hours (that usually sends me into a fanatic panic mode where I try to rationalize and think out problem sets intended for a week's worth of pondering). In actuality, the event reducing me to this extreme reaction of misery set off a chain reaction of realizations of related incidents.
Loneliness, though tolerable, takes its toll and being abandoned doesn't help.
Rationalizing and connecting on the micro-scale have little use for me now if i'm just going to get fucked up (and not in the way i want).