how It feels

it's JUNE!!!!!!! i would be even more excited if i was gonna get out of school in the middle of this month, but, alas, i must work. at school.


disappointing.

but, i've been here four months. what an accomplishment, no? it feels like sunday everyday and i don't mean feeling the trepidation of the upcoming week or relaxing on the last day of the regular weekend. it deals with an institution i feel obliged to attend out of pity, almost, regarding my childhood, and one i've tried to escape for maybe seven years? damn this guilt i carry. damn. why do i have to understand what she went through?
to be truthful, like the good ol' days, i'm rather upset. i have to admit...i sometimes cry on bus rides to and from school or other places. it's because i'm thinking about my childhood and how much fun i've had, namely elsewhere. but. this could all be the result of my scheduled tom..so, these nostalgic feelings make hyper-emotional. and since last weekend...i've gotten hooked on the same thing that was consuming my march and april. GODDAMN. not like i'm going to do anything about it--it's fucking futile, right? intending to go into detail with this issue in 'this'. i'm too prone to fail at these things.