Too back and blue

gone for while, i think. shit's happened. my week off was generally uneventful and the moment i anticipated for so long was, like.......a little bit of a let down. at least i didn't have to work. some of my students supposedly missed me, but they didn't really show it.
ugh. i want to go home, to my real home..although there are problems there, too. seems like everywhere i go i get obscenely unhappy/disappointed within an extended period of time. i think i'm starting to constantly look sad. i find myself dreaming of other (better) places like i used to: staring out windows and wondering. goddamn.

when i do get back to america, to fucking california, i swear i'mma eat some delicious things regardless of what it originally came from. but i promise to stop before school and dally with the idea of veganism (however, i quite adore leather...). speaking of real, my future pending school, i have decided to ucla. it mostly pains me to say that; i feel like such a part of the majority..to justify my decision i have to admit that it seriously is the best school for my major (and the cheapest and the easiest to get into considering the other top choices were mit, caltech, and nyu--none of which i dared to apply to). i'm mostly concerned with where i'mma be living; there is no way in fucking hell i want to dorm. no way. it's so expensive around there. eeesh.

tangentially, i want to show what i've been currently obsessing over: two tone leggings--opaque and sheer à la AA and OC.
i think the obvious purchasing choice would be american apparel, plus, i like the contrast with that one better. and after seeing this one picture of lily allen i totally want to expose my ass this summer. or...this year. i seriously want to showcase that feature since i've always kinda figured my bum was awesome. like, something i've actually been proud of other than my hands. god, i miss dressing nice. i feel if i pull any of that shit here i'll be eyed in ways that will give me even more nightmares. i don't want no attention from the guys here. no.
lastly, i have found that i have been listening to music that sounds as if it could be played in the background of a porno. porno soundtrack-ish music. i loves it like this



and that.