The let down !! exasperation

bejeebus. everyday this week has started out fairly well, it gets a good climax, but the denouement is shits. i come home all in high spirits and the culmination of the day ends up dashed. god. it fucking pisses me off. 'm seriously starting to think about what i'll end up doing in the next three months. i really have no intention of staying here longer...then i think about the cash i'll be making and the little kids that i've really grown attached to.
i used to really, really, really kinda dislike children/feel extremely awkward around them (especially telling them to do something). not so much now. i could probably handle real american, english speaking kids. maybe.

i'm thinking about real school, for me, and i want to finish the damn thing. i'll be free to do more wandering around the world, possibly making more money. i don't know...friday for sure, i'll have all the information i need to make a gooood decision. korea's been treating me like a third rate bitch so far. i've been fucked over too many times.
excited for a potential WEEK off of work. excited, though not necessarily pleased.

It's not an ok good time yet, raring to GO

hahahaha. it really feels like friday. i seriously mixed up my days this week; everything felt so damn topsy turvy. i have one more day to go! arrrrrggg. that's my impression of an angry, upset pirate. i really like how this week started like shit and it ended like the a field of roses. It looks and smells nice, but it's thorny..my analogies are horrid, it's the result of a lack of good english literature classes/reading.
i also have an extreme crush on spanish guys. like Andrés Velencoso. it's because of this:



my eyes fell out when i saw it for the first time.
this really makes me want to go to spain.
......

the Calm before a storm, badness on the Rise

it was surprising that today was actually really, really nice. i had to teach kindergarten mostly by myself (trying to quiet down and keep the interest of thirty kids under 6 is daunting in any respect, i think), but i survived! it's actually me conjuring up this post to surmise my day, as far as you know. second grade was easier to handle; three students from the usual 10-12 since we split the classes like it was supposed to be. although, trying to teach bingo is a very difficult task...and fourth grade! new student! forever bingo part 2 with no winners.

I really don't want to be evaluated tomorrow. It's seriously too much pressure..but it'll be over in a jiffy, probably and depending on how long the principal and vice principal stay to watch me , and i'll look back and laugh at how much anxiety i thought i had at the time.

i've come to realize that, despite it all, i adore the children. yeah, i definitely have favorites (i think all the little boys with glasses are absolutely tops..maybe i sympathize the fact they have poor eyesight, but i've always had a fondness for people with glasses); i think the 금반 kindergarteners are my all time faves..maybe tied with the kindergarteners and some second graders at 안의...i totally think there's a second grader who likes me too much...i mean, he's jumped on me, scared me nearly shitless (the sneak-behind-your-target-and-yell-when-he/she-turns-around tactic was employed), and always want to do the dancing singing activities with me. if another kid tried to intervene and do anything with me he gets kinda violent (ie: kicking). and he resembles jonathan taylor thomas. a little.
i would have to say the only aspect of life here i really can't stand is...where i'm situated and sometimes the food. it's interesting how i find that i'm not really as lonely as usual. at least..i think i'm not as lonely. on the outside?

Mmm, talk science to me

home weekend! i'm surprised i don't get extremely bored..i guess because i found this. I didn't know he was a guy from harry and the potters--i mean, i had heard of the band, maybe listened to a few songs in high school...however it weren't nothing i was crazy about (amusing, yes). Now i have an obscene crush on scientists, namely those in the field of physics (there is a connection!)...i remember those olden days in the lab and playing with magnets. Seriously, science stuff is in my blood, but it's not the main component of my being, to the disappointment of my parents.

In other unrelated browsing news: NIPPLE BUTTER!

I know it's supposed to be for ladies who are breast feeding and get chapped/irritated around that area..there are reviews here praising it's multi-usefulness.

fucking hilarious.
that's not the clip i wanted, but it was the best quality for what i wanted to exemplify. i was looking for one with lois showing her boobs to brian and talking about the afflictions.

OK, tmi-time: I occasionally get itchy and dry nipples. It started in high school, i think, and i couldn't find a good remedy to soothe them until i started using the palmer's cocoa butter. it smells delicious btw. nowadays my nips aren't dry, but if they start to i'd really like to try this.

the California english Dreaming goth, Los Angeles--I'm yours

i don't know why i'm listening to led zeppelin again. it's reminiscent of middle school and early high school and those long, vacation road trips. also brighton.

i'm seriously starting to long for home, disappointingly pining for Los Angeles. I fucking miss burritos and trader joe's truffle bread and target. my god--no target makes me miserable..there's so much to see and do there. it's the browsing i miss the most. my experience here hasn't been overwhelmingly awful; i'm not really regretting going across the ocean to teach. being in korea isn't such a difficult transition. it harnesses memories of youth and uncomfortableness i constantly feel (usually on a weekly basis in the homeland). i always feel stressed, however, and generally uncertain.
one thing i'm most upset about: the boy selection. i mean, there isn't much cuteness to my preference. to be frank, i don't much care for korean or most asian guys in general..oh my, i feel a little bit horrible for saying that. i mean, the kind of guys here are just....not what i want. i have no intention of staying here for a long ass time, although there is a possibility of returning for work in the future, and, to be really, really, really, really honest...since i'm already mixed, like, already korean, so what's the point in trying to keep everything the same? if or when i choose to procreate the future, i'll be looking for someone who's ideally on opposite ends of the spectrum (mm, euro-asian). i just want a serious blend. that's for the long term, bordering on however long forever might last. short term...i don't really care as long as he's cute (scraggly beard, sad eyes, and equally fancy hands included?). probably asking for too much here....also so not sure if any attempts of transitory relationships should develop. eh. the options are just..eghhh.

excuse me while i be Waif

i have no tribulations regarding anything particularly large or unwanted growing inside of me! what a relief. i truly feared europe déjà vu...really. not at a great time, but it's ok. ok.

weekly deal, this is. i can probably sum up the memorable aspects of my week in two words: (passive-aggressive-'06-ish) scolding & crying. Most of half of that happened to me.


i'm not ready for planning and the disappearance of time. where does it go?
(the internet or spending time with people eating and talking about stuff.)