if you've been Bad or Good

after watching the complete first season of american horror story, i will admit to finding evan peters attractive.

maybe it was the portrayal of his character (oh that troubled youth would affect me again!) or the way he looked in bedhead hair with oversized sweaters or when he would wear that gimp suit--but he ensnared me. i want to curl up in bed with him and stare into his soulful eyes. or do whatever people do in beds..the most appealing aspect of evan peter's take on tate langdon was his devotion, how he would do anything to protect violet, how he couldn't fathom to be away from her, like violet was the only thing in the world that mattered (this came to be that one time when he told her she had been the light in the darkness he was made of). ...in my case, this has never happened to me. mr. peters fulfills the fantasy of knowing that one day i'll meet someone (dead or alive) who cares. and then i started to watch the second season of american horror story (asylum) and mr. peters was in it too as kit: 

there's something about him that's so... irresistible. what i wouldn't give to have him look at me that way,,, and today i started thinking, comparing if you will, a similar actor, someone who might make an interesting chiaro to mr. evan's scuro. the conclusion was michael cera.

look at that. i mean, there's some kind of white guy weirdo resemblance that i definitely can't shake. michael cera is not darkness or trouble or anything negative really. whenever i look at him, or even think about his voice, i smile and imagine rainbows, cotton candy, and dolphins frolicking in a purple sea. something pleasant, slightly lisa frank. 

...it's not quite as attractive...maybe cute? geeky, nerdy, i play video games for 13 hours a day cute? well, he's still someone i like. i can't believe he's canadian, it's totally news to me. 

anyway, this side-by-side comparison is kinda hilarious.

i don't know why this is a christmas post. 

santa should've left this to fill my stocking.

hohoho.

good bye, cruel world

the closing of 2012 has always been a bit..frightening? it causes a worry in me not felt since the turn of the millennia with something called y2k . although i wasn't so worried or freaked out hoarding toilet paper and snickers, but there was the uncertainty, the possibility that technology would implode, turn against the human race à la skynet, and we would become destitute without our internets and cell phones. there have been signs of this sort of thing happening with the rise of ridiculous "reality"" television coming about, sub par music, crimes of the past coming to light, falling off fiscal cliffs, and psychotic children. it's probably a good time to clean the slate and start a whole new world. a brave new world. 
rationally, there is no real threat to this coming of the end. i don't think people should be repenting for their lifelong sins...

should the end be approaching, however, i hope i'm doing something that makes me happy. i mean, i don't give a shit if i'm going to die as long as i feel good. ...like i've done everything i wanted to, within my means, and don't expect things to get any better.
...
hm. i guess i mean to say i really don't care if it's the end of the world. i'm rather tired of it. i wonder if this has anything to do with watching too much supernatural and american horror story. god, i don't want to be a ghost either.

Why not

I said something and he replied.
outstanding.
After all that time, I didn't think he'd do it.

But he is a gentleman. As shocking as this was, it erupted a super volcano of happiness in me. I suppose this is something girls like to file under, "hopefully this works out again".