She's in a lonely world

when i woke up this morning, the first thing i thought was, "there are two days i hate more than anything that come once a year: my birthday and new year's day." i think the worst aspect of these two, isolated days is the fact that you hope it will be better; an improvement from yesterday or a year ago, it can only ever be better. in a few cases this happens and you're happy while it lasts and you think, "gee, birthdays/new year's days are grand!". then there are times when the lingering feeling of stagnation or something worse happening creeps in and creep it does. my birthdays have always been in the second category for a long time. the last time i had a slimmer of a good time during my own birthday was probably when i was ten...or that time when i wasn't surprised at my surprise birthday party (a most failed attempt).
In the grand tradition of my birthday, it was the same this year of bits of boring (no singing, however) and disdain. the most exciting aspect of today, and i have been pondering this for the longest time, is the date. it's 10, 11, 12. all the numbers lined up so nicely, that's what makes today so special, a birthday that was meant to be special.

 the day started out pleasant, but by the early afternoon rain had started to fall and soon turned into a thunder and lightening bonanza. i have no qualms with rain, i quite like it, rather, and where i'm at now we need all the rain we can get.

look how lovely and and gloomy and wet it was. perfect weather to match my upset...i mean, languid feeling towards today. 

Here are a few of the things i got (?):

Some cards and a vampire cupcake. This clearly isn't like this. Sorry about that. I liked the vampire cupcake.

Adorable isn't it? Bloody fangs and all.

Having taken a bite out of him, i must say he's tasty. A bit too sweet, though. 
This day could have been so much better (especially with the rain! I have so much to do with someone in the rain...) and I hope next time it will be. Would someone care to make today happy?

For the time being I'm feeling ever so ancient.